A Short Guide to Getting Over a Crush

 A crush: to care hard for someone you hardly know. When you see them, it's like your eyes deceive you (for who could possibly be so lovely) and when you hear their laugh, it's like it is your ears that are being bewitched now. You adore them from far and would cherish them from close, but sometimes fate, station or circumstance deems that impossible. That is where this epistle comes in. Here is Dr. Umer’s prescription for an intense, passing infatuation.

Tell a friend. Keeping a crush, a secret, is the worst thing that you can do. The more you keep something a secret, the more you internalize it, and the more you breathe into it a life of its own. Denial will not help. Telling a friend and divulging the secret is the first step. 

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Go talk to them. Gawking at someone and being dumb-faced by how cute and attractive they are is simply...  rude. So, go talk to your crush, say hi and introduce yourself. Get to know their name. This might surprise you but most people are polite to strangers. Who knows, your crush may like you back! In any case, talking to them will take them down from the high pedestal that you've put them on. You'll realize that they are human... just like you.  

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Stalk them on social media. I know how inappropriate this sounds but get a well-intending friend and stalk your crush on social media. Getting a second opinion can be interesting and fun. In any case, looking at prepubertal photos of your crush (I know you’re gonna be diving deep into their Facebook feed) will cure you of your affections.

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Wail like a whale. Taylor says, “I'm so furious / At you for making me feel this way / But, what can I say? / You're gorgeous”. So yeah, let the rage out, baby. Wail about how cute they are and howl about how you can't do anything about it. Get rid of all your frustration.

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Practice gratitude. It is only gratitude that makes abundance. Be grateful for what you have instead of grieving for what you don't.  

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Have some GODDAMN SELF RESPECT. They’re only a person, and you're only feeling what's physiologic. Pining will do no good. If the person who has caught your eye is someone that fate or circumstance has deemed not for you, then go back into yourself. Love is not something to be found, it is something that you have to stop resisting. Find the things in your life you’re proud of. Rely on your personal resources and know that you need no external stimulus to find inner bliss.  

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            A crush is always severe and can be overwhelming. But it is also short-lived, so you need not worry. Be consoled and handle it like a champ. In the end, you might just end up with a fond memory to bemuse yourself with in your future years.